Sleep is one of the most treasured things in this world, okay maybe not in the world but in my world, shes the Queen. To have it is a gift and to be deprived of it is the worst torture you have to live with. I love sleep so much, if it was a person, we would have been married by the age of 3, willingly and I am glad God gave me that gift, many fight to have. Sleep is important in my life because it determines the mood I will display for the entire day and because of it, dreams were birthed.
With dreams, sleep has been responsible for my 5 marriages with Ryan Reynolds, Zac Efron, Jesse Eisenberg, Jared Leto and recently Joseph Morgan. Now this post is not entirely about me praising sleep, its about people disturbing the peace and the only circumstances under which this will be allowed.
Humans spend 1/3 of their lives sleeping.
Food time. If I am beautifully laid out on a couch or bed expressionless and at peace, snoring lightly and you happen to think of me like the good Angel you are and bring a big bucket of KFC fries (if they exist) or Ice cream or chocolate, your permitted to wake me up. You might even just have to call out my name once or whisper, my 8th sense specially gifted to me (for detecting delicious food) only by God will awaken me.
Money. Now the love for money is bad, don’t love it, i repeat hate money. That’s why when you do not need it, feel it tempting you to do something Jesus wouldn’t do, owe me or need to keep it somewhere safe, darling wake me up. In fact shake me up, jiggle my body like jelly, slap that money in my face, I will awake.
Apocalypse. Whatever apocalypse it is, zombie or environmental, wake me up, if i don’t, pour milk or chocolate syrup on my face gently and slowly not water,its commonly used and makes me feel like I am drowning. If this fails, carry me on your back in a gentle way, oh don’t forget to cover me with my favorite sweater and spray some Bvlgari perfume all over me then carry me and lets run to wherever everyone’s running to and meet our creator, hoping not the zombies.
My beloved Sleep
Bed time. I might have slept off on top of my bed because I had a long day of sitting and looking pretty plus liking and sharing pics on social media. Please be kind as to prepare my jammies or boxers i sleep in, wake me up with a glass of fruit juice and tell me to dress up and enter my bed because you just don’t care about yourself but about my well-being too and worry if I end up sleeping on top of the bed I might catch a cold, get an asthmatic attack or be carried away by aliens, your so sweet.
If there are any other reasons why you shouldn’t wake me up, they are not as important as the ones I have talked about above, otherwise do not wake me up if you want to tell me how your day was or how Smith is not picking up your calls, do not wake me up if you feel your organs are depreciating and you need someone to take you to the doctor your a big girl or boy, do not wake me up if there’s a robber or weird noise in or outside the house have some manners and if its not what i mentioned already, do not wake me up. Thank you, now my time for sleep has been taken up by writing this, so let me go catch up with sleep before that relationship is ruined.